(85-93)

85. "i feegot to cuddle with you." so says henry after getting off my lap to quickly do something
        and hopping back on the opposite end of the couch... where he stayed but just a moment
        because he remembered to cuddle :)
86.  surprise flowers from my husband

87. that david brought sylvie flowers, too. :) she was so pleased... she danced around
       with her bouquet
88. and that sylvie gave david the warmest welcome home after getting flowers (truly a girl!)
89. the morning walk the kids and i took, collecting all sorts of beautiful and wild things.
       berries and acorns and stolen hydrangeas (they were in the woods... i don't think
       they'll be missed)
90. while i was holding and comforting henry after he scratched his knee pretty badly,
       he looked up at me so sweetly and pathetically said, "i don't feel like a prince
       anymore."
91. peace with God, peace with my dearest
92. daily self-revelations that help us to act out our love more effectively
93. toads, and the little boys that love them:

troy davis (#84)

84. verses like these in times like this:
         "shall the throne of iniquity have fellowship with thee,
           which frameth mischief by a law?
           they gather themselves together against the soul of the righteous,
           and condemn the innocent blood.
           but the Lord is my defence; and my God is the rock of my refuge.
           and he shall bring upon them their own iniquity, and shall cut them
           off in their own wickedness; yea, the Lord our God shall cut them off."
           -psalms 94:20-23

(62-83)

62. henry's harry potter spell, "pinocchio pastrami!"
63. the intimacy that results in bearing one another's burdens
64. big sunday lunches
65. when sylvie gets punchy
66. david working hard even when he doesn't feel like it
67. sylvie thinking she could walk back to the park by herself... probably would have kept going
       if she hadn't taken a spill
68. google, for the curious mind of this mother with little time for research
69. that fall is mine and david's time, and that it is here! (we totally rock the fall)
70. david looking so dapper in fall colors
71. marital disputes easily and lovingly resolved
72. thrifting with a friend
73. finding david the perfect tie
74. being able to pull foods out of the freezer when your fridge is empty
75. chocolate chip oatmeal cookies
76. hair long enough to pin up
77. my husband gets more beautiful with age
78. a responsible son, who doesn't whine when he can't have the snack in sunday school... how
       amazing for one like him, who loves food so much, to be able to watch everyone else eat,
       but cheerfully deny himself!
79. sylvie's love of broccoli
80. hearing a stranger's hard story, but hearing her gratitude even louder
81. having an intuition/suspicion confirmed
82. stranger kids who become instant friends at the park
83. henry's use of the word "pinchy" as an adverb (and how he assigns it such a positive
       connotation)

(37-61)

37. hand-me-down sweaters from my ever-so-fashionable sister in law
38. this sweet agnostic love song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73UXRl_ILZ0
39. spotify, i love you.
40. music that meets your needs: comfort/inspiration/energy, etc.
41. the resourcefulness of toddlers. sylvie had too much salsa at the mexican restaurant,
        so she cooled her tongue down by licking the windows 
42. henry learning from sylvie that mommy kisses help boo-boos feel better (he will let
       himself be comforted now!)
43. how tightly sylvie squeezes my neck when she hugs with those skinny arms
44. belated birthday presents for my david coming in the mail (thanks, momma and daddy)
45. talking knee to knee, eye to eye with my love
46. forgivness
47. how my troll-baby has turned into such a beautiful little girl (inside and out)
48. the nightly comfort of the countenance of my Savior, as i lie in bed
49. seeing the squirrels eating the scraps i leave for them and how it reminds me that nothing
       is ever wasted in God's economy and how He cares even for the sparrow (or the squirrel)
50. cheap food that is also healthy (dear beans and rice, how many times you've saved me!)
51. how the extra effort is always worth it (stretching, exercising, cleaning, loving, etc.)
52. british television
53. photo apps
54. the haunting sound of a distant siren and how my mother always taught us to pray for
       the ones whose trouble it signals
55. re-watching howard's end after all these years...  margaret schlegel is my hero
56. bangs the perfect length
57. the fan blowing the curtains and sylvie being sure something was behind them
58. wait, wait don't tell me
59. henry sneaking (literally) in our bed last night... took him about ten minutes to even walk
       through the doorway
60. open windows and a cool, fallish wind while playing my piano
61. sylvie wanting to kiss henry while he was sleeping

the start of nothing great (1 to 36)

1. sylvie's smile
2. moonlight on the live oaks
3. henry's gentle hands caressing me (so affectionate)
4. david's beautiful and expressive brown eyes and thick lashes
5. anticipation of something warm from the oven
6. the peacefulness of clean wiped countertops
7. the ability to change nail colors
8.  irony of feeling better after having babies
9. climbing into fresh sheets
10. legs that can run
11. david's familiar smell
12. blemishes heal
13. having children that enjoy playing together
14. friendly familiar faces of small-town life
15. sylvie's increasing ability to communicate (today: "henny funny, mama." and
       "SNAKE! betty [better] run.")
16. people who care enough to give bad advice
17. the power God has given certain plants to heal (herbs)
18. the pitter patter of little feet as my alarm clock
19. "you're the best mommy i ever did have"- henry
20. sylvie throwing up in a bowl instead of all over the house (obedience even while ill...
       GOOD GIRL!)
21. friends who love my kids and are always so willing to keep them for me
22. rebekah's classical beauty
23. melissa's shared visual aesthetics
24. cuddles in the night
25. the magic of food to nourish
26. calming my husband's night terrors/funny nightmares
27. hand picked pears from a friend (mkat!)
28. a counselor whom i trust
29. a beautiful home
30. the modern conveniences (think: dishwasher and washer machine)
31. henry, so brave, picking up and flushing a dead cockroach so i "wouldn't even
       have to see it."
32. how even cracking eggs while helping me cook shows the different personalities of my kids:
       henry, so careful; sylvie, so eager (what a mess!)
33. seeing my husband growing more witty and clever every day
34. sylvie asking "why?" for the first time when told no
35. sylvie's adeptness at searching netflix on my iphone (technological genius?)
36. a cloudy day; a break from the sun

lest i forget

i am notorious for writing 'thank you' notes but never sending them... after two years of floating around in drawers or purses, they find their way to the trash bin.

every day i find joy in a million things, but can never remember them the day after. it wasn't like i won the lottery or a new wardrobe, or lost three inches of hip width after one run.  that fleeting joy... i guess it was nothing that significant, afterall.

but i don't really believe that.  i am grateful.  i just want to remember for what.  i don't want my gratitude to always be like the 'thank you' notes:  there, but not quite ever making it to their final destination.  i want the gratitude i feel for all the joy of life to be out there, recorded, permanent. i want to tell all of you, i want to tell the Giver of every perfect gift that i am thankful. 

and so here is my list of all the nothings that add up to something quite lovely.